a lonely day
by not a straight trumpet
Summary: In which Natsuki has a birthday. (a small fic about Natsuki's feelings towards the Euphonium's coffeeshop, Luce the cat, and living alone in an apartment)


**a/n:** i love coffeeshop au natsuki so much? so ofc when i found out that natsuki's birthday was on june 23rd i had to put this together

* * *

"Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Natsuki, happy birthday to me." Natsuki sat down on the couch with a sigh as she finished the song. Luce the cat paced the apartment, restlessly flicking her tail back and forth. "Do ya think she'll call us?" Luce blinked her inquisitive yellow-green eyes. "Y'know, 'happy birthday, ex-roommate I left to run away with my goddamn manic pixie dream girlfriend! Hope you're doing well!'" Luce cowered and hid behind the worn-out gigantic teddy bear, ears flattened behind her head. Natsuki realized that she had raised her voice a bit louder than she had intended. "Sorry about that, Luce," she murmured. The cat clawed her way over the bear and unsteadily leapt to the couch, wobbling until she eventually collapsed on a cushion. "I guess I'm just-"

" _Hey,_ Natsuki!" A familiar voice came from the hallway, insistently banging on the door. "This is your place, right?" Natsuki opened the door to find a rather frustrated Yuuko standing on her doorstep, tapping her foot impatiently.

"Ribbon girl!" Natsuki allowed a crooked grin to pass across her face, ready to wrap Yuuko in a hug just for _being there._ "You remembered-"

"I lent you my coat a few months ago at that movie, and I'd kinda like it back."

"Oh." Natsuki hoped that Yuuko was too busy living in her own little self-absorbed world to notice the way her eyes glistened, the slight tremble in her legs. _Of course._ "Yeah, I'll go and get it." Yuuko didn't seem to see anything out of the ordinary, simply petting Luce and humming to herself.

"You've really held onto that thing for a while, huh?" she said as Natsuki dug through closets of old photos and unwashed shirts.

"Yeah, well, maybe I'd like to pretend that someone'll tell me to bring it to you in a big-ass dramatic rainy montage, how about that?" Yuuko blinked, her ribbon tilting to the side as if to mirror her confusion. "'Course, that'd require someone giving enough of a crap, so unless Luce here suddenly learns to talk, I guess we'll just have to do this like normal people who aren't living in a goddamn movie."

"Is this a bad time? You know, if it's a bad time, I could always come back later and-"

"Here it is!" Natsuki waved the coat triumphantly before tossing it to Yuuko, who barely managed to catch it.

"It smells weird," she noted.

"I live alone with my cat and I don't have enough money to make regular trips to the laundromat, could ya give me a break?" Yuuko flinched. "Sorry, ribbon girl. You didn't do anything wrong, I've just had a stressful day."

"You _always_ say that you've had a stressful day. Even when we're doing completely fine and nothing's happening, you'll say something like 'wow, I've had a stressful day! It sure is nice to not be stressed for once!' What kind of life do you even live?"

"A stressful one," Natsuki deadpanned.

"Anyway, I think I left my car unlocked at the foot of the building, and I _really_ don't want it to get stolen." Yuuko started to leave rather abruptly, giving Natsuki a peck on the cheek almost as an afterthought. "Thanks for the coat!"

"No problem." Natsuki closed the door as soon as Yuuko was out of sight, flopping back onto the couch when she knew that she was alone. "I'm not being overdramatic about this, right, Luce?" The cat licked a discarded candy wrapper - probably from Yuuko's pocket, Natsuki thought - in response. "I mean, it's not like I'm _mad_ at any of them for forgetting. The folks at Euphonium's hardly know my name, ribbon girl just doesn't care, and Kumiko . . ." Natsuki trailed off, gripping the arm of the couch to steady herself. "Kumiko's busy." Natsuki didn't resent her, not really - it was impossible, she thought, to truly resent someone after you cared about them for a lot time - but she couldn't help but be a bit jealous of the life Kumiko had, the freeness of traveling with someone she loved. "Ribbon girl would probably scoff at the idea of doing something crazy and spontaneous like that," she muttered. Luce let out a long meow and curled up on the carpet, and Natsuki was once again left without anyone to talk to.

* * *

"Y'know," Natsuki began, pacing the apartment with Luce weaving between her legs, "sometimes I wonder if . . . if I had done things differently, then maybe my life wouldn't be like this." She barked out a laugh at the thought. "Man, look at me, pretending I live some kind of miserable existence. I'm not as well-off as some people, sure, but I'm pretty sure that others would kill to be where I am. Still, I can't help but think about it." The television babbled in the otherwise silent space of the apartment, the dialogue of the characters providing a thankful backdrop to Natsuki's musings. "I can't help but- hey, Luce, what're ya doing?" The cat had latched herself onto a bag of old letters and printed-out photographs, mewling like her life depended on it. Natsuki pulled her away from the bag as fast as she physically could, practically flinging it across the room as soon as Luce was detached from it. A few of the photographs had drifted out, and Natsuki tried to shove them back into the bag without looking - a task, she soon realized, that was much more difficult than she had first thought. Eventually, she was given no choice but to look at them, and the sight made her tremble in ways she hadn't expected.

 _"I'm sorry,"_ the static-filled voice of the movie's protagonist whispered in husky tones. _"I never meant to hurt you like this."_ It was an old movie, Natsuki knew that without even looking - the quality of the sound was enough to tell her that, but the old-timey love song only added to it.

 _"You've done such terrible things,"_ the love interest said. Natsuki secretly rooted for the love interest to leave the stupid protagonist and strike out on her own, but she knew how all of those movies ended.

"At least the guy feels bad for the crap he's done," Natsuki muttered, clutching the photograph in shaky hands. "None of those dumb things end with . . . _this._ " She knew what everyone said to do after things like this, especially when it had been over five years. Burn the photographs. Cut them out of your life. Natsuki couldn't do that, as hard as she tried, and so she was left to curl up on her carpet with old paper and a boring movie in the background and no future to be seen. The sun was still high in the sky, but Natsuki was about ready to go to bed. There, she thought, she could cry without the fear of someone seeing her. It wasn't like this had been much of a birthday, anyway.

 _"Does that matter?"_ The television was still playing, and Natsuki moved to shut it off, letting the photograph spiral to the floor.

 _"Of course it matters, Harold."_ Natsuki chuckled at the name, momentarily forgetting the fact that she was spending her birthday alone.

 _"I've loved you since the day I laid eyes on you."_

"That's unrealistic," Natsuki growled at the television. "Ya can't love someone as soon as you meet them. You need to _know_ the person first, otherwise all of your _love_ is just a bunch of bullcrap."

 _"So have I, yet I cannot keep this going any longer."_ The love interest backed away from Harold, keeping her arms tightly interlocked. Natsuki cheered her on from her spot on the couch.

 _"But I_ love _you!"_

"You're a goddamn liar," Natsuki said. "You're in love with her face, maybe, the way she dances or whatever. Ya don't love her, ya _can't_ love her, because it takes a hell of a lot longer to fall in love than ya might think." She turned off the television, unwilling to see how it turned out. "Not to mention the fact that when ya _do_ fall in love, it usually means . . ." Natsuki trailed off as Luce nuzzled her hand. "It usually means that you'll get your heart broken one way or another." The tears had started to fall, staining the worn-out couch, but Natsuki didn't care. Nobody could see her, nobody but the cat trying her best to comfort a human she didn't understand.

 _doot-doot-doot_

Natsuki sat up, digging through a pile of rent bills for her laptop.

 _doot-doot-doot_

Carefully, she opened the computer and looked to see Kumiko's face, waving and clicking buttons, on what looked like a train.

"Natsuki?"

"Yeah, it's me," Natsuki sniffed, wiping away any tears.

"I wanted to come back home and surprise you for your birthday, but the trains got delayed and the weather's really stormy here." Kumiko moved to show off a window, ominous clouds floating in the sky.

"That's fine, Kumiko."

"Oh, yeah, Reina's here too."

"Hey, umbrella girl." Reina gave her a polite smile before turning back to her trumpet.

"Anyway, even if we couldn't be here in person, I figured that I'd, uh, wish you a happy birthday! We're having a really great time, y'know."

"Yeah, I can see that." Kumiko seemed to be positively glowing, holding Reina's hand and leaning against her shoulder.

"Crap, I almost forgot!"

"What?"

"I sent you a present in the mail! It'll probably come in the next couple of days."

"What is it?"

"Don't you want to be surprised?" Natsuki shrugged.

"I think this was the best surprise I could've asked for, honestly. I wasn't expecting ya . . . I wasn't expecting you to call." A flash of guilt passed across Kumiko's face, and Natsuki quickly changed the subject. "So, what's the present?"

"It's a bunch of movies! We found this really cool place a while back that was selling really cool movies for half-price, so we got a bunch of them and figured they'd make a good birthday present for you. Don't worry, we didn't get any of the crappy trope-y ones."

"Some of them are actually quite intriguing," Reina added. "I would be lying if I said that I wasn't somewhat tempted to keep the one that took place during the 1950s."

"And there aren't _any_ deaths in any of them!" Kumiko said.

"Thank you, Kumiko," Natsuki breathed, feeling a genuine smile spread across her face. "Thank you so, so much."

"No problem! I'll try to visit as soon as I can, okay?"

"I'd like that."

"Okay! I think that my phone's about to die, so we should, uh, probably say our goodbyes right around now."

"Yeah. Bye, umbrella girl. Bye, Kumiko. Luce, say goodbye to your aunts." The cat mewed as she pawed at the screen. "I think that's _bye_ in cat language." Kumiko chuckled.

"And, Natsuki?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't worry, okay? Y-you're not alone. If you ever need us, just call. I d-don't say this enough, but . . . thank you."

"For what?" Kumiko was stuttering, and Natsuki knew that meant she was trying to say something difficult.

"'For what?' Natsuki, you've done so much! I don't t-think I've ever met anyone as incredible as you. You're really brave, Natsuki, I don't understand why you can't see that. W-well, I kinda can, because I go through the same feelings, but . . . thanks. F-for everything. Don't forget that you're great, okay? We should set up a movie night sometime soon."

"Yeah." Kumiko could probably see the tears falling freely, now, but Natsuki didn't care.

"The phone's battery is flashing red. I think I should, uh, probably go for real now. Happy birthday!" Kumiko and Reina disappeared, leaving Natsuki to laugh with relief.

* * *

That night, Natsuki fell asleep with a smile on her face for the first time in months.


End file.
